I made this back in college, instead of doing my work. :[
But four years later, I have over 87,000 views. Who’s laughing now? (SallieMae. SallieMae laughs.)
Some good comments I found:
Soundwave should have told Blaster “Time to face the music”
So most of the series or films I find seems to be about people frittering away their days and posting some vaguely interesting weirdness that happens to them mid-frittering. Gratuitous cursing and other obscenity is not required but apparently strongly encouraged, because that’s how horror is nowadays. How is it H.P. Lovecraft was a horrid racist and sexist and yet I admire his work more? Well, the man could write and freak me out. He never wrote a real novel, and you could finish one of his stories in an hour or two, but wow, it would stay with you. I left MH around video 50-something because I’m 26 now and can’t watch the same thing over and over with no resolution forever. I got a cane to buy, toffees to eat. I just don’t get you kids and your new-fangled ARGs.
So, in summation: We need more stuff like Proxy so bad.
Proxy got all up in my grill with it’s “HEY LOOK PG-13!!!!11” attitude or whatever rating it was, but it actually was a STORY. It had a beginning, middle, and end, the rise and fall of tension, and actual storytelling designed around a central theme.
I’m not saying other ways of doing Slenderman videos aren’t designed well, but I can only watch so much amateur footage apparently designed to be as boring and slice-of-life as possible with only the occasionally really eeries twist. Also, Proxy was like 12 minutes long. I appreciated that so much. I literally cheered, in fact, when I saw the length on the bar. I’d rather have a short that delivers than a series that keeps meandering along with no recognizable landmarks that I can see. Maybe I’m conditioned by movies and TV but I think movies and TV evolved rather nicely to be as easily enjoyed as possible. I really hate working for my entertainment. Apparently you have to follow these series on Twitter and stuff too? Ohmagersh, who has the patience? I have to do homework to enjoy this stuff? I really value distance in my entertainment. I don’t want to be a part of it or have it spread around the world I inhabit. I like it in a little glowing box where I can properly gauge it and enjoy it. I don’t want to know that the characters are doing important things on Twitter they should be doing in the story.
What I really enjoyed about the first MH videos was that you saw Slenderman right away; no preamble, no waiting because “we have to build up to it” or “we have to lay the groundwork.” There he was. He has no face and he keeps haunting some kid and that’s the whole video, in about only 30 seconds. It made me want to learn more. They showed him right away, dashing away a lot of mystery perhaps, yet even so they told us nothing about him, so while the “surprise” was loosed quickly, it actually didn’t spoil anything. It just activated the plot and my interest, like a good story should do. Also, I don’t care much about these big reveals, when he finally shows up in these things after several videos, because I know he’s going to show up going in. It’s a Slenderman story. So just show him. A whole series could be nothing but quick photobombs and appearances with little else as substance and I’d enjoy that a lot. Okay, I’d require more eventually, but I see no reason to keep him so hidden that I can’t enjoy the whole point of the series.
Maybe I’d like the stories better if I knew who these people were and why I should care about them, but I don’t so I don’t. Mostly they’re white dudes in college or out of college and they all sound the same, talk the same, and act the same. Occasionally I’ll find something interesting but mostly I just want old-school storytelling so I know where I am. I’m in the woods with a dying flashlight and also, my vision has the worst shaky cam ever. And that’s no fun. I need something more and I don’t feel I’m getting it. I know that’s the Internet and most people don’t have a lot of money, but I feel so unsatisfied. I wish I could make my own movie but I don’t have a computer of my own, a camera, or any budget or time. I’d probably do no better, but I’d love to try. Maybe I’ll write a script and hand it over to someone to shoot for me. I probably should look for more series in the meantime. Right now I’m sampling DarkHarvest00.
Link to Chapter 1:
And here's the new last 1440 words to Chapter 1. It's in the third person, not first person this time. Tell me what viewpoint feels better, but I tend to feel 3rd person is always the better choice except in certain circumstances.
Chapter 1 part 2:
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Praise to God for a Living Hope
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hopethrough the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.